Essay 8

Lonely:

Dill’s Loneliness And My Loneliness

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

December 6, 2010

(Hook) To quote Aristotle, “No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world,” this quotation suggests that human interactions cannot be replaced by material objects. (CM) No person would choose possessions over companionship because loneliness is the most horrible emotion to experience. (CM) In To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), Dill’s parents thought they could satisfy Dill’s desire for their companionship and love by replacing both with toys and books. (Thesis) While objects can temporarily distract feelings of loneliness, eventually the need for human contact must be satisfied.

(TS) In TKAM, Dill explains to Scout that he feels as if his mother and new stepfather would prefer if he were not a part of their lives. (SD) As Dill stated in the novel, “They just wasn’t [weren’t] interested in me… when they were home, even, they’d get off in a room by themselves.” (CM) Dill was lonesome and aching for his parents’ companionship and attention. (CM) Additionally, he felt forsaken and like an outcast within family. (SD) Furthermore, he feels as though his parents buy him materials to occupy his time so that they do not have to keep him company. (CM) Dill explains the situation to Scout by saying, “They buy me everything I want, but its now-you’ve-got-it-go-play-with-it. You’ve got a roomful of things. I-got-you-that-book-so-go-read-it.” (CM) Dill would rather have his parents’ love and attention over material possessions--toys and books. (CS) As a result, Dill escapes his loneliness by running away to the Finches where he knows he will never feel forsaken.

           (TS) Recently, feelings of loneliness in my own life have allowed me to relate to Dill’s feelings of being alone. (SD) This October, I had to leave my first school where I had many friends to attend a new school where I was alone. (CM) I felt like a solitary person segregated from the rest of the world. (CM) To make myself feel better, I had to find a way to relieve my feelings of emptiness. (SD) Like Dill, I tried to replace my need for companionship by focusing my time on objects-- a computer and books. (CM) My feelings of loneliness did not go away. (CM) At this point, I forced myself to make friends. (CS) Therefore, feelings of companionship cannot be substituted.

                  (Hook) Consequently, material objects may not replace our interactions. (CM) By replacing Dill’s hope for companionship and love between him and his parents by toys and books, Dill’s parents could not gratify both Dill’s hope and love. (CM) Like Dill’s parents, I could not satisfy my need for companionship by the computer and books. (CS) We must eventually content human contacts without replacing the contacts by material objects.

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-Self Assessment:
1. The one thing that I am continuing to work on is using wide range of vocabularies, F.A.S.T. words. I sometimes use very simple words such as happy and angry. For me, it is very hard to connect sentences so readers may understand easily. I believe sentences of this essay are well connected.  However, sentences that I wrote for previous essays were not connected. Thus, I need to keep working on connecting sentences well either.

2. One strong point I see in this essay is that I explained Dill's loneliness very well by my memory of loneliness.

3. One weak point in my essay is that I only wrote short sentences. I hope I can write longer sentences than these sentences next time.
4. I would give my self a B+ for this essay.

Paragraphs of Essay 8

Lonely:

Dill’s Loneliness And My Loneliness

Paragraphs by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

November 29, 2010

(TS) In TKAM, Dill explains to Scout that he feels as if his mother and new stepfather would prefer if he were not a part of their lives. (SD) As Dill stated in the novel, “They just wasn’t [weren’t] interested in me… when they were home, even, they’d get off in a room by themselves.” (CM) Dill was lonesome and aching for his parents’ companionship and attention. (CM) Additionally, he felt forsaken and like an outcast within family. (SD) Furthermore, he feels as though his parents buy him materials to occupy his time so that they do not have to keep him company. (CM) Dill explains the situation to Scout by saying, “They buy me everything I want, but its now-you’ve-got-it-go-play-with-it. You’ve got a roomful of things. I-got-you-that-book-so-go-read-it.” (CM) Dill would rather have his parents’ love and attention over material possessions. (CS) As a result, Dill escapes his loneliness by running away to the Finches where he knows he will never feel forsaken.

           (TS) Recently, feelings of loneliness in my own life have allowed me to relate to Dill’s feelings of being alone. (SD) This October, I had to leave my first school where I had many friends to attend a new school where I was alone. (CM) I felt like a solitary person segregated from the rest of the world. (CM) To make myself feel better, I had to find a way to relieve my feelings of emptiness. (SD) Like Dill, I tried to replace my need for companionship by focusing my time on objects such as a computer and books. (CM) My feelings of loneliness did not go away. (CM) At this point, I forced myself to make friends. (CS) Therefore, feelings of companionship cannot be substituted.

 

Outline for Essay 8

Inpyo Hong

English 8A

November 16, 2010

Outline for Essay 8

Bell Word: Loneliness

Paragraph 1

(Hook) Loneliness = feeling when you are depressed, and have feeling of being alone.

(CM) Dill’s loneliness with his parents.

(CM) My memories of being lonesome.

(Thesis) people fill lonely in many different ways.

Paragraph 2

(TS) Dill felt loneliness.

(Bell words) Forsake, outcast, or lonesome.

(SD) Dill-“They just wasn’t in to me.”

(CM) Did not show interests at Dill.

(CM) Went into their room and spent time.

(SM) “You’ve got toys play with them.”

(CM) Did not spend time with Dill.

(CM) Seems like ignoring their child.

(CS) Dill felt forsaken because of their parents.

Paragraph 3

(TS) My memories of loneliness.

(Bell words) Outcast, lonely, or solitary

(SD) Feel lonely every time.

(CM) International student – homesick.

(CM) Sometimes, truly want to see my parents.

(SD) Feel solitary – my friends ignore me, and except me from the group.

(CM) Rely on friends, and trust them a lot.

(CM) Sometimes, believe it’s because of racism (Asian) – makes me more outcast.

(CS) I fill lonely because of my beliefs- homesick, wanting to see parents, racism.

Paragraph 4

(Bell Word) Lonesome

(Hook) People become lonesome in numerous ways.

(CM) Dill became outcast because of their parents.

(CM) I become lonely when I think about my house, parents, and friends excepting me.

(CS) Loneliness may not be happened to you if you think about yourself and others differently because loneliness occurs when you think others and yourself is same.

Final Draft of Essay 7

Mature:

Growing Up

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

November 5, 2010

          

To quote Albert Einstein, “True genius is the ability to return to childhood at will.” The quotation signifies that it is beneficial to hold on to the ability to make friends, to learn new skills, and to trust the people that we knew in childhood. Jem’s growing up and my opinion about growing up are examples that show why this period is significant in our lives.

           Humans mature after some events and lessons. In To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), Jem grew up after Mrs. Dubose’s death, when he became twelve years old. Jem started to think about life and view it differently. Jem told Scout about his extended thoughts when they saw “The cartoon in The Montgomery Advertiser above the caption, Maycomb’s Finch,” they were dumbfounded because it showed Atticus barefooted and in short pants, chained to a desk. It showed that Atticus was assiduously writing on a slate. Jem explained the cartoon to Scout that it was a compliment, and it was about reorganizing the tax systems. Scout could not think about that because she was not mature enough. Even though Jem explained the cartoon to Scout, he refused to answer her question: “How do you know?” It was disrespectful to refuse and say, “Oh, go on and leave me alone,” because he had never done it before. He always answered Scout’s questions. Therefore, Jem became idle and also irritable over time. Consequently, we may discover some benefits of extended thinking and disadvantages of becoming inert, from Jem’s growing up.

           As Jem matures in the story, we may relate to some of his experiences. To quote Mr. Salsich, “I am still growing up.” These words imply that he continues to learn and mature. It is not justified that one has to be very dignified and genteel because one is old. It is wrong to assume that mature people are old-fashioned. As Einstein said, we can act like younger people. This means that we can sometimes tap into our childhood abilities to use them to our benefit. In my opinion, holding on to our childhood abilities throughout our lives is important. Nevertheless, Jem could not hold on to his childhood characteristics, such as being gentle and kind, in TKAM. Thus, being mature may affect one’s character and attitude, so we have to keep holding on to our willingness to make friends, to learn new skills, and to trust people when we are growing up.

Overall, Jem grew up with some advantages and disadvantages. He was able to think and look deeply, which helped him to understand experiences and events. However, it was difficult for him to hold on to his ability to trust others, which harmed his relationships with people. Therefore, experiences that we have while growing up are an important part of our lives, and we are constantly maturing!

First Draft For Essay 7

Mature:

Growing Up

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

November 4, 2010

           To quote Albert Einstein, “true genius is the ability to return to childhood at will.” The quotation signifies that it is beneficial to hold on the abilities such as making friends, learning skills, and trusting people that we had in our childhoods. Jem’s growing up and my opinion about growing up are examples that show why growing up is very significant in our lives.

           Humans grow up after some events and lessons. In To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), Jem grew up after Mrs. Dubose’s death, when he became twelve years old. Jem started to think and view deeply. When Jem and Scout saw “the cartoon in The Montgomery Advertiser above the caption, Maycomb’s Finch,” they were dumbfounded because it showed Atticus barefooted and in short pants, chained to a desk. It showed that Atticus was assiduously writing on a slate. Jem explained the cartoon to Scout that it was a compliment, and it was about reorganizing the tax systems. Scout could not think about that because she was not mature enough and did not have an ability to think deeply like Jem. Even though Jem explained about the cartoon to Scout, he refused to answer her question: “how do you know?” It was very impertinent to refuse and say, “oh, go on and leave me alone,” because he had never done it before. He always answered to Scout’s questions. Jem became idle and also petulant after he grew up. Consequently, we may discover some benefits and detriments from Jem’s growing up.

           As Jem had grown up, we have also grown up. To quote Mr. Salsich, “I am still growing up.” These words imply that we all grow up and it does not matter how old we are. It is not justified that one has to be very dignified and genteel because the one is old. It is unjust that mature people have to be old-fashioned. As Einstein said, we can act like younger people. This means that we can sometimes bring up our childhood abilities to use them for our own lives. Moreover, if we want to bring up the abilities, we have to hold on the abilities when we are growing up. I believe this, holding on our childhood abilities when we are growing up, is the most significant thing when we are growing up. Nevertheless, Jem could not hold his childhood abilities, being gentle and kind, in TKAM. Thus, being mature (growing up) may affect one’s character and attitude, so we have to keep holding on our beneficial abilities when we are growing up.

Overall, Jem grew up with some advantages and disadvantages. He was able to think and look deeply, but he could not keep his childhood abilities, which are being benign and benevolent. In my opinion, we have to hold on the childhood “beneficial” abilities when we are growing up. Therefore, growing up is the most important part of our lives, and we are endlessly growing up!

Graphic Organizer for Essay 7

Inpyo Hong

English 8A

November 2, 2010

Graphic Organizer for Essay 7

Main Point: Growing up

(TS) Humans grow up after some events, lessons.

(SD) Jem grew up after Mrs. Dubose’s death.

           (CM) starting to think widely + examples

           (CM) Calpurnia’s words + examples

(SD) Mr. Salsich’s words: “people are growing up always.

           (CM) learning myriad things in our lives

           (CM) Learning = growing up

(SD) Growing up in my own life

           (CM) had many embarrassing situations

           (CM) learned from the situations and grew up.

(CS) After sth happens, we would learn, grow up, and fight against it next time.

Complete Essay 6

Surprise:

Parents’ Secrets

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8th Grade English

Pine Point School

November 01, 2010

(Hook)  Have you ever felt your parents are boring, when they are sitting down and watching the news on the television without doing anything special? (CM) In To Kill A Mockingbird (TKMA), Jem and Scout were shocked when they discovered their father’s, Atticus’s, expertise with a rifle. (CM) Moreover, I was also amazed when I sighted my “serious” father was watching a comedy program on the television. (Thesis) Thus, we may discover various surprises and amazing truths about our parents.

(TS)  In TKAM, Jem and Scout were astonished about Atticus's secret talent, shooting. (SD1) Tim Johnson was wandering down the main street toward Finch's house and “walking dazedly in the inner rim of the curve parallel to the Radley house.” (CM)Calpurnia called Heck Tate, a cop; she mentioned that Tim (the mad dog) was near where Scout, Jem, and Calpurnia were. (CM)Mr. Tate gave a rifle to Atticus, who said, "I haven't shot a gun in thirty years", and he shot Tim with only one shot in spite of his distance from the dog. (SD2) Jem said, "dead shot…” and he was amazed after Atticus shot Tim because Jem thought Atticus was a boring father. (CM) Miss Maudie confided to Jem and Scout about Atticus's secret, which was that he was the best shooter in the county when he was young. (CM) When Scout wanted to praise Atticus's secret, Jem told her to keep the secret about Atticus's expertise with a rifle. (CS)From this amazing experience with Atticus, Jem and Scout were astonished at Atticus's talent, and also recognized that Atticus was not a tiresome father.

(TS) As Jem and Scout was shocked about Atticus’s secret talent: shooting, I was also astonished when I discovered my father was watching a comedy program on the television and engaging in applause mingled with laughter. (SD1) When I was taking shower in my parents’ bathroom, I heard my father’s big laughter, which was very hard to hear or discover nowadays. (CM) I went out of the bathroom very silently to find out what happened, and I could discover my father was watching a comedy program. (CM) He was watching the comedy show “very secretly.” (SD1) I could not believe what I discovered, and it was very hilarious to me. (CM) What I knew about my father was that he only watches news on the television but nothing else; he was acting that he only watches the news. (CM) Furthermore, my father had mentioned that all the comedians are insane and criticized me when I was watching a comedy show. (CS) Therefore, I could recognize that my father was not a “boring” father, who only watches the news.

           (Hook) Consequently, we cannot conclude that parents such as “television maniacs” are not actually boring. (CM) Parents might be very opposite of what we have thought; they might be very interesting. (CM) As I stated above, Jem and Scout’s surprise about Atticus’s expertise, and my amazement about my father are my great examples that show why parents might be very opposite of what we have thought or seen. (Re-statement) Parents are safes (coffers) because they have many surprising secrets that we do not know.

First Body Paragraph of Essay 6

Surprise:

Jem and Scout's Surprise About Atticus's Talent

A Paragraph by Inpyo Hong

8th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 25, 2010

(TS)  In To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM,) Jem and Scout were astonished about Atticus's secret talent, shooting. (SD1) Tim Johnson, "somethin' wrong with an old dog down yonder", was wandering down the main street toward Finch's house. (CM)Calpurnia called Heck Tate, a cop; she mentioned that Tim (the mad dog) was near where Scout, Jem, and Calpurnia were. (CM)Mr. Tate gave a rifle to Atticus, who said, "I haven't shot a gun in thirty years", and he shot Tim with only one shot in spite of his distance from the dog. (SD2) Jem said, "I saw that, One-Shot Finch!", and he was amazed after Atticus shot Tim because Jem thought Atticus was a boring father. (CM) Miss Maudie confided to Jem and Scout about Atticus's secret, which was that he was the best shooter in the county when he was young. (CM) When Scout wanted to praise Atticus's secret, Jem told her to keep the secret about Atticus's expertise with a rifle. (CS)From this amazing experience with Atticus, Jem and Scout were astonished at Atticus's talent, and also recognized that Atticus was not a tiresome father.

Revised Essay 5

Tears:

Reasons Why Jem Was Crying, and Feelings and Memories of Tears

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 22, 2010

           Occasionally, tears are very mysterious that even a detective cannot detect the reason of crying. Tears include many reasons and facts that we cannot observe and understand. When I was young, I cried a lot. Crying is sometimes very mysterious, and it can also give you a bad memories and feelings about tears.

           (TS)On page 84 in TKAM, Mr. Nathan put cement in the knothole in the tree and Jem had been crying while he was standing and looking at the tree, and it is very mysterious because the author did not state why Jem was crying. (SD)In my opinion, Jem had been crying because he would not be able to get presents such as a watch, from the knothole. (CM)Jem and Scout found many precious presents from the knothole. (CM)To quote Jem, “Atticus, if it’s all right with you, I’d rather have this one instead, maybe I can fix it.” (CM)From the quotation, we can see Jem was excited about getting the presents, but he will not get any presents from now on. (SD)Furthermore, it is possible that Jem was crying because he found out who put the presents in the knothole, and why Mr. Nathan put the cement in the knothole. (CM)It can be happened that Mr. Nathan put the cement in the knothole to stop someone giving Jem and Scout precious presents. (CM)If the “someone” is Boo Radley, then Mr. Nathan would definitely stop him. (CM) Mr. Nathan would stop Boo Radley trying to communicate with Jem and Scout. (CS)Consequently, there are two possible reasons why Jem had been crying.

           (TS)People have different memories, feelings, and opinions about crying. (SD)In my opinion, people are ok to cry, but it is unacceptable to cry always. (CM)Usually, crying makes me to feel relieved, and calms me down, after I cry very sorrowfully. (CM)For instance, people may cry if one of their family members had a car accident and if it is a very serious situation. (CM)I would cry too if my one of family members get hit by a car. (SD)Nowadays, I do not cry very well, but the recently crying was when I was at Rectory School. (CM)I had been in a very malicious situation at the school. (CM)I cried all night while I was thinking about my parents and my friends. (CM)I believe it was ok to cry because it was very bad that I cannot even speak out about the situation specifically. (CS)To conclude, people have different opinions and different memories about crying, but I believe humans are fair to cry, but not always.

           Overall, Jem cried because he cannot get presents anymore, or he knew who put the presents in the knothole. Furthermore, I have very bad memories that I had at Rectory School. People have their individual opinions and memories about tears. I believe Jem would have a very good reason that is fair to cry, but people are unacceptable to cry always.

Outline for Essay 6

Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 21, 2010

Outline for Essay 6

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: Finding A Good Surprise About A Parent

Bell word: Surprise, discover, shock, interesting.

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook: Think parents are boring?

Comment on the hook: Jem’s surprise about Atticus that he was not a boring father (in TKAM.)

Comment on the hook: My father watching a comedy program on TV.

Thesis (with bell word): Able to find many amazing truths about parents

Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): Scout and Jem’s surprise about Atticus’s talent.

2 Echo words to be used: Astonish, amaze.

SD: Tim Johnson

CM: Heck Tate (the cop) asked Atticus to shoot Tim.

CM: One shot one kill.

SD: Jem and Scout’s amazement and foundation about Atticus.

CM: The best shooter in the county.

CM: Jem told Scout to keep Atticus’s talent secret.

CS: Atticus = not a boring father.

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): My amazement about my father.

2 Echo words to be used: Shock, startle.

SD: Watching a comedy show on TV.

CM: Saw my father watching a comedy show.

CM: Watching a comedy show secretly.

SD: Hilariousness

CM: Said that comedians are insane.

CM: Acted like he only watches news.

CS: A very serious person can like comedy shows.

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different): Parents are interesting.

Echo word (could be bell word): Surprise.

Comment on the hook: Parents can be the opposite of what you thought.

Comment on the hook: Ex) Jem and Scout’s surprise about Atticus, and my surprise about my father.

Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis: Parents = safes (coffers) because they have many surprising secrets that we do not know.

Complete Essay 5

Mysterious Tears:

Jem's Tears, and Feelings and Memories of Tears

An Essay by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 18, 2010

           Occasionally, tears are very mysterious that even a detective cannot detect the reason of crying. We sometimes cannot understand why someone is crying. Tears include many reasons and facts that we cannot observe and understand. Two assumptions about the reasons why Jem was crying in To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), and my feelings and memories of tears are my great examples that show why tears are mysterious.

           Have you been crying for some reason that nobody knows? On page 84 in TKAM, Mr. Nathan put cement in the knothole in the tree and Jem had been crying while he was standing and looking at the tree. It is very mysterious because the author did not state why Jem was crying. In my opinion, Jem had been crying because he would not be able to get presents such as a watch, from the knothole. Moreover, it is possible that Jem was crying because he found out who put the presents in the knothole, and why Mr. Nathan put the cement in the knothole. Consequently, there are two possible reasons that show why Jem had been crying.

           As I do not know why Jem had been crying, tears are very mysterious to understand. Most of people cry because of themselves. However, tears mean differently to me. I do not cry often, but I mostly cry for my friends, family, relatives, and neighbors, who are very close to me. For instance, when I was in a very malicious situation in Rectory School, I cried all night because my parents would be very disappointed at what I had done, and I did not know what I had to do for my friends. After that accident, I promised definitely that I will not cry anymore. People did not know why I cried all night. It would be very mysterious to them to understand the reason. In my opinion, crying makes people stronger. As I stated before, I promised myself strongly after the accident. In addition, it is beneficial to cry for others rather than for yourself. It would make you to think about others first and then you.

           Overall, Jem cried because he could not get presents anymore, or he knew who put the presents in the knothole. Furthermore, people did not know why I was crying when I was at Rectory School. Also, I believe that people should cry for others first because then people would think about others first. Hence, tear is a puzzling question.

-Self Assessment
1. I am very proud of the transitions and a metaphor that I used for this essay
2. I believe I arranged the sentences well.
3. I could not work on details because the memory is my privacy.
4. I would give my self A- for this essay.

15 Minutes Writing

Time Is Running Out

Inpyo Hong

Be prepared or be sluggish

Tik tok tik tok

Rush,

Our time is running out

Be separated or be part of them

Tik tok tik tok

Concentrate,

Your time is running out

Be succeeded or be beaten

Tik tok tik tok

Endeavor,

Mission complete

Essay 5: Two Body Paragraphs

Mysterious Tears:

Reason Why Jem Was Crying, and Feelings and Memories of Tears

Paragraphs by Inpyo Hong

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 14, 2010

           Have you been crying for some reason that nobody knows? Sometimes, it is very complicated to figure out the reason of crying. On page 84 in To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), Mr. Nathan put cement in the knothole in the tree and Jem had been crying while he was standing and looking at the tree. It is very mysterious because the author did not state why Jem was crying. In my opinion, Jem had been crying because he would not be able to get presents such as a watch, from the knothole. Moreover, it is possible that Jem was crying because he found out who put the presents in the knothole, and why Mr. Nathan put the cement in the knothole. Consequently, there are two possible reasons that show why Jem had been crying.

           As I do not know why Jem had been crying, tears are very mysterious to understand. Most of people cry because of themselves. However, tears mean differently to me. I do not cry often, but I mostly cry for my friends, family, relatives, and neighbors, who are very close to me. For instance, when I was in a very malicious situation in Rectory School, I cried all night because my parents would be very disappointed at what I had done, and I did not know what I had to do for my friends. After that accident, I promised definitely that I will not cry anymore. People did not know why I cried all night. It would be very mysterious to them to understand the reason. In my opinion, crying makes people stronger. As I stated before, I promised myself strongly after the accident. In addition, it is beneficial to cry for others rather than for yourself. It would make you to think about others first and then you.