Falling In Love:
My Thoughts About Love
An Essay by Inpyo Hong
8th Grade English
Pine Point School
04/26/11
(TS) Unquestionably, true love begins when a couple falls into love even though there are numerous people who build fake love, which is not from their heart but their mind. (SD) I strongly believe I will fall in love with a girl that I have never met, and if she has a good personality and she is candid, it would be more beneficial. (CM) Furthermore, I have fallen in love with a girl that I have never seen before; every time I saw her, my heart pounded like a drum. (CM) In addition, this true feeling of love begins when you fall into love, but not when you build love. (SD) Not only is building love impossible, it is also not true love, love that only occurs in your heart. (CM) In my opinion, love cannot be controlled by your mind, but may be controlled by your heart. (CM) If you build love, you cannot feel the same feeling of true love, the sense of palpitating and delight. (CS) Hence, I will fall into love because it is the only way that you can taste and share love as it is.
(TS) Even though love at first sight is very rare, I have experienced it at Rectory, the school that I have attended before I came to Pine Point School. (SD) On the first day at Rectory, I saw her in the dining room, sitting at same table. (CM) I could not eat my dinner because I was too distracted and attracted to her beauty. (CM) However, it was not just for me; she was looking at me the whole time, but we could not look at each other’s eyes at same time because we were too shy. (SD) Since it was Sunday night, I asked her, with my bravery, to watch a movie together. (CM) We did not watch the movie, but we were looking at each other’s eyes and smiling with love and bliss. (CM) Spontaneously, I asked her out in the movie theater, and kissed on her forehead; the answer was “yes”. (CS) Thus, this true love has begun with love at first sight, which I strongly believe is the inception of true love.
Dear Inpyo,
ReplyDeleteI really liked when you put yourself into the paragraph because i think it really adds to the paragraph. However i noticed that your looses sentence does not appear to be loose. Also when you said "it is also not true love that occurs in your heart." I think you meant to say "it is also TRUE love that occurs in your heart. Other than these few mistakes great job.
Gaelen